Next Man Up, Poetry in Motion

Announcer 0:00
This is a KU NV studios original program.

Wesley Knight 0:03
The content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 jazz and more the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education.

Donavan LeDean 0:15
Here we go. Here we go. Move it. Move it. Move it.

Donavan LeDean 0:22
You next man up. Hello and welcome to the show. I am your host, Donna Billy Dean, actor, author and inspirational rhythmic poet, you're down tuned in to next man up. Poetry, motion, rhythm. Mission is promote good mental health for everyone. This poetry show will motivate, educate and inspire you with spoken word through cultural expression, we have a special guest today, Jenny UD, who is a poet and criminal justice major, born in Jersey and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, she now resides in Las Vegas, Nevada, inspiring and healing others through her poetry within the community, her writing has always reflected her daily life and her perception of the world around her. She has been reading poetry since the sixth grade, yet began writing in high school. Her love for poetry was inspired by poets such as Emily Dickinson, Maya, Angelou and Rumi. Her mission is to touch the hearts of those who are neglected from society, a memorable record she hopes to attain after her life. Jenny, thank you for

Jenny Uddin 1:21
being here. Thank you for having me.

Donavan LeDean 1:23
So I'm going to read an excerpt from your bio, which I feel is critical regarding mental health, and you state it. For a while, I stepped away from writing. I'm a criminal justice major, and for years, my writing was focused on professional reports, which never gave me the space to tell my own story. It felt like I was sharing everyone else's narratives while my own remained untold. So during this time of not using your pen, what kind of effect or impact did it have on your mental health?

Jenny Uddin 1:55
It had a huge impact, right? Because being a criminal justice major was emotionally heavy, so there was a lot of pain behind that, of seeing the injustice, the traumas that come within that life. So I just wanted to make sure I get back to myself

Donavan LeDean 2:14
during your career in criminal justice. What's one traumatic experience that stands out in your mind to where it propelled you to go back into writing poetry.

Jenny Uddin 2:23
There was many cases, if I'm honest, it just reminded me that behind every file there's a human being when we're telling these stories, being a story, a heartbeat, a soul, remembering that some people tend to feel powerless in these moments, like there was no amount of paperwork that could bring back that healing. What

Donavan LeDean 2:44
is one they mean to cut you off. Go ahead, because you can elaborate as far as one specific moment or episode that stands out in your mind.

Jenny Uddin 2:53
Yes, absolutely. When I was a CEO in the jail, I was my post was to work with the women, and there was a moment where I realized a lot of these women that were being brought here had drug addictions, right? And here we were having them withdraw in a jail. It felt very heavy, because it was very sad, because this did not feel like the appropriate place, because what these women, what they were dealing with, was mental health right, and that mental health not getting the proper assistance right to teach them how to process trauma led them to self medicate with drugs, and then they're sent to jail because they're self medicating, and now I'm not equipped to deal with individuals who are withdrawing. So that was a very traumatic moment for me,

Donavan LeDean 3:40
and these are moments that, because you mentioned, also miss, mentioned in your bio, that your experience, and one of the experience, or maybe several, in working in criminal justice, it had propelled you to pick up the pit and start writing again. So art is that the specific, as far as events that may have propelled you to get back into it, that motivated you to get back into

Jenny Uddin 4:02
it. That motivated me, for sure. Because what that moment does, I think, to individuals in that field, right? You also become traumatized, right? We're trying to figure out where is the injustice. And that led a lot of officers to self medicate with drinking, you know, after work and things of that nature. And once you know those bad habits, you want to kind of switch up and go, Hey, what is the good habit? And well, the good habit there is writing. What it is that you are witnessing that is the only way out. Okay to do it's over.

Donavan LeDean 4:33
Okay? You've picked up the pen. How does it feel at this moment in your life? You know you've you're making impact in the poetry community in the Las Vegas Valley, and being able to, you know you have the mindset and fortitude, you know, to start writing again, and you know when you're on stage or at a venue, how does it feel? You know you feel that you're, you know, healing people, as far as their hearts, their minds have people. Come up to you saying thank you, showing their gratitude for your powerful words through your poetry. What kind of moments have you had? One

Jenny Uddin 5:07
of the moments? It's a beautiful moment, right? It's all a beautiful journey. So the main thing that I feel when I'm up there is absolutely terrifying to tell my story, because we want to make sure that I'm right. We always want to tell that story of what it is that we've experienced. So I want to make sure that I'm being true to myself. Some of the beautiful things that I've seen is a lot of social workers and other criminal justice managers who kind of come up to me and go, Oh my god, this is we're telling other people's stories, most definitely we don't tell our own. And that is a beautiful moment to know, right? I'm not alone in this field. There are a lot of people that were affected, and we're just all trying to make it out alive.

Donavan LeDean 5:47
Most definitely, before we go, I would like for you to share a poem for us. You ready? Yes, Jenny, you. Dean queen, talk to him.

Jenny Uddin 5:55
Okay, this poem is called, What is poetry? What is poetry but the act of running back and forth through the most traumatic moments of our lives while hovering above them in Eagle Eye View, trying to understand. So we write, we take those moments, dress them up in the right emotions, sit for hours in hidden chambers music vibrating through us until intimacy blooms and the source speaks louder. What is poetry? Is it the desperate reach for peace, pushing through so the feelings never claw their way back again? Or is it the mind replaying, rewinding, choosing the best scenario, hoping we can rewrite reality? Is poetry a kind of self gaslighting, convincing ourselves that the way we saw it, the way we felt it wasn't distorted, convincing others we love I am not delusional. What I lived was real. What I felt was truth. What is poetry? Is it not this endless act of holding memory and meaning until they burn into words and we set ourselves free? Beautiful.

Donavan LeDean 6:55
Jenny Wayne, thank you for your time. Thank you for having me. The poets that'll be featured on our playlist today are Jenny you Dean, Rachel daveurer, Tariq Moore, Donovan, Lee D Liz Prince, Gabby Moreno, Stefan Pettway, Michelle Marrero, Zachary, Gutierrez and Sheldon. Alex Sebastian, now let's get on with the show. This is next man up, poetry in motion. Here we go. Here we go. Next man up.

Speaker 4 7:39
Thrive from other body land i We

Donavan LeDean 7:57
need a leader. You with vision. You're paramount to move the world. Impact the next generation of a young boy and a girl, terror is on a rise. Harness headlines throughout the land. We're in despair. Yet. I'm on a peace mission, lending a helping hand. I'm a Nourse in territory accompanied by corruption, life, peace, joy, taking it once the great abduction. I'm taking on a fight fall. I'm a leading you lead the way. Boost Humanity is on us for a brighter Day.

Unknown Speaker 8:58
Right from other body land The bed. By no demands.

Rachel De Vera 9:52
Next man up. I am a Filipina, brown sugar, skin. An almond eyed sight. Voice deep, resilient and full of fight. I am a Filipina. Vocals like Whitney and Aretha, singing knees to the ground as I hum heavenly sounds. I am a Filipina. I eat with my hands dried rice on my shirt. Don't matter, because when I flirt, I am a Filipina. Wrote two pcns, twirling candles around my palms, dancing to nickeling while keeping calm. I am a Filipina. Got a sister that's a nurse. She survived covid, 19 at its worst. I am a Filipina, watching corrupt legal crimes, my bloodline dancing on picket lines. I am a Filipina Ruby Ibarra wraps and serenades, inspiring an era of rebelling renegades. I am a Vegas Filipina, DJ e rock, Beng and P dot rocking these streets, their sets never flop. A Vegas Filipina follow the lights to California Hotel. If you know, you know that ox tail real well, a Vegas Filipina making something out of nothing, making space for all. Human race to come together, fly, birds of a feather. Humanity, in our voices and our choices, are clever. I am a Filipina, American. Immigrate, no hate spreading poetically, Penny words, that's my fate. I am a Filipina. What are you

Donavan LeDean 11:32
next? Man O Dave,

Jenny Uddin 11:35
I have traveled through many worlds. Some have been superficial, some have been dark, some have been filled with terror, some have been filled with sorrow. Some have been tainted by drugs. Some have been floating in Oblivion. Some have been plagued with mental illness. Many worlds have been built on lies, on pain, on grief, on greed, on jealousy, on envy, on pure hate. All the worlds that I have seen created on the hopes that when they open the door you do not see their illusions of depression, desperation, of rejection, of anguish, their feelings unable to be properly expressed. So you witness tantrums, tempers, bitterness, anger, all the things that these worlds will say to you when you wish to leave them behind, fill you up with guilt, with shame, with cruelty, as if you were the creator of their worlds, yet the truest magical worlds have not only been seen with one's eyes, but felt with one's heart. You have felt it in all aspects of your being. These creators are self aware of the negative energies that linger, but can ride its wave without fear, into the depth of solution, into self love before anyone else, anointed in their confidence, enlightened into their ecstasy, grateful in their existence, humble folks, always listening, expressing love, compassion, serenity, thankfulness and kindness. See, these worlds are filled with light so bright you are attracted like a magnet. These worlds have been burnt to the soil in order to be replanted in trust and self respect and forgiveness, in love insecureness and enchantment. These worlds in their truths, living in their reality, encouraging you to live within peace. These are the worlds that are worth surviving.

Donavan LeDean 14:39
Next man up. All right, here's another one.

Speaker 6 14:43
This one is called confusion. Confusion, this state of mind when brothers and sisters walk around like zombies, doing that same old thing, polluting their lungs while poisoning their brains, holding their heads up high, strutting with no shame, fake. Think like they get an education, but what they're really getting is insane. You see our children, our beautiful, creative children, go to school every day learning to read and write, and still can't read or write. And according to the symbol, formerly known as Prince, he says this sign of the times. I say there's so much confusion. We seem to be blind, confused state of mind, whatever happened to Dr Martin Luther King, Jr's Dream, which was deeply rooted in the American dream, though the American Dream is nothing but a scheme built up on the backs of who, yes, Aboriginals like me and you now in 2024 what are our people to do? Drink and drive. Say, boom, toast or pandemic lives. So we all know what that is, right, confused state of mind. See, everybody is out here partying and celebrating when this world is steady, recycling, hate, white against black, black against white. Stop. Let's take a look at the statistics that keep track. In fact, it's white against black, black against black, and cop against black. And we wonder why death was a fascination to the youth from the east to the west. Death is at your rest. There's no need to wonder why rappers need to wear bulletproof vest. Tupac and Biggie pop smoke and Nipsey took slugs to the chest. Y'all know what that is? Right? Confused state of mind. See, I've been out here searching for the beginning of our existence, but finding the end to all resistance. The time is now for some drastic change. The time has come for some mental rearranging. Let's flush out all our Euro ways and look to our ancestors for new days. To you, this may seem somewhat extreme, but Malcolm told us all by any means necessary to accomplish this goal, which is to open people's eyes and revitalize our soul. With this we can leave this long, drawn out, confused state of mind behind, confused state of mind.

Donavan LeDean 16:59
Here we go. Here we go. Next man up.

Speaker 7 17:00
Where do we go now? This is a forest wide out in the open air, with plenty place to hide and many more to seek. This is discovery. So many go alone, but will you go with me? I mean, to journey on as many dare to do, is such a place to be, but better off with you and better off with us on the unwritten path. Let's make it worth the risk and all the aftermath.

Donavan LeDean 17:30
Next man up.

Speaker 8 17:32
This poem is titled wounded bird. I've been wounded, I've been cured, I've been healed. I've been hurt, I've been blessed, I've been cursed, I've been better, I've been worse. Life's a balance with verbs, putting my trust in the universe even when the odds are against me, I still come up first. Let go of my ego and left it all to Mother Earth. I always had my faith. I didn't need a church. Even at my lowest, I knew eventually it would be my turn. Not the most patient, but I'm always putting in the work, I always got pure intentions and keep my word. I sought help when my anxiety and grief collided, my trauma and pride, tried fighting. This girl's journey is like deep diving, uncovering new depths to my soul. Sometimes it feels tiring. So seeking is not for the faint of heart. It's facing your pain head on. Never been a victim. Been both Aladdin and Jafar. This journey has left me with scars. Without my art, I wouldn't have made it this far. Nerve to protect my energy, because I got a big heart Let others deplete me in the past. Now I'm in charge. Now I keep myself on guard. Stay sharp. Lately, I've been more in tune with the signs. The other day, I looked into an injured bird's eyes, could see its fear and resilience. It wasn't ready to die. Realize how many times I didn't give up the fight reminded me of how many times I've fallen, but took it as a lesson, how many times I've been betrayed. But it was a blessing, Mother Nature telling me great things are ahead, even though life's a challenge, this is my rebirth. You're about to witness the ascension of a savage

Donavan LeDean 18:56
next man, oak, Dave, this

Unknown Speaker 18:59
last one I want to read is called naked. I feel this one in my heart as I read it.

Speaker 9 19:07
Do I deserve to be loved? Sometimes I feel my heart drop. It goes so low I feel empty. My chest feels light, my body feels heavy, my soul feels alone, not needed, not wanted, not loved, just alone. I've got love to give yet, there's no one to receive. Instead, I lay here naked with my heart on my sleeve. I've got love to give yet, there's no one to receive. I lay here naked with my heart on my sleeve. Thank you so much, Dave.

Speaker 10 19:48
Passionate women who knew spiritual things, wrap me up in your arms and bathe me in oils, clean me quick before I spoil, pour in, wring out, remake. Make me whole. I needed this. I'd be remiss if I didn't embrace the legacy laid before me. If I threw away the crown and renounced the royalty passionate women who knew spiritual things, pray for me, please, if you may, if you might speak life into me with my arms spread wide and my head held high, I call out, save me. Passionate women who know spiritual things, I'm sorry they mistake your passion for anger. I'm sorry they criminalize your expression of anger. And I'm so so sorry. There's so freaking much to be so angry about, and you never receive the same tenderness as your crocodile crying counterparts you women who are mother, father, sister and aunt, who carry the weight of every mistake made by the women before you, by the men who disappeared, by the boys who hurt you, and by the other girls with the same heavy weight, sad eyes and loud burdens, passionate women who know spiritual things. I'm so sorry we ask so much of you. I'm so so sorry you give more than you receive, and I'm so very sorry you only get the scraps of the world to make do with, only to have it stolen, my women of passion and spirit, I love you, and I will sing of your praises and give you your flowers while their scent is still fresh and I can still see the glimmer in your eyes, because at the very least, you deserve the world as you are. What keeps it turning my women of passion, thank you. Next man up,

Speaker 7 21:40
when home doesn't feel the same as it was, Where shall I go to feel that old love? I need a new place for my soul to find ease, for my mind, to find solace, for my heart to find peace. Another day is draining, another night the same. I can only hope tomorrow I can leave with what remains. Can leave with what remains.

Donavan LeDean 22:02
Here we go. Here we go. Next. Man up,

Speaker 11 22:07
yeah, let me chime in on this right here. Man beauty, the people mission. Don't talk about

Donavan LeDean 22:19
it. Governments on shut down. I gotta find no hustle for right now. No wellness shakes, no support base sitting through inflation is minimum wage. Don't force the bank to turn me down for a load of time to kind of profile, to get minute resting for committing no crimes. More problems on top, more problems do can't barely pay the card no on light bill stressed out, yeah, stand tall with my head high. I refuse to kneel on welfare, on food stamps, but food prices are sky high in two weeks though, food stamps won't be enough to get by. Workers leave a job because he owns strike because the pay is low. Inflation, spicy, got suicides, got pill addiction, got more debt with no remission. But problems that have more problems give it to us a human issue. I'm trying to solve more problems. It's a human issue. I'm trying to solve them.

Acamea Deadwiler 23:20
The next man up, coexisting in many realms of thought, a walk in prayer, meditation, I can't evade frequencies. I can't explain. Speak to me in wisdom's name. I've been on that resonance before. They coined it. Schumann's Babylon, can't control me. I broke out the show like I was Truman, the human. Programmed analytics can't measure the spirit, thus they can't fully study us. At this point, it's apparent, know thyself, mental, physical and etheric lyrics. Tap into your central nose to the soul. You can feel it. Sit in the sun. Download codes. I can hear them. There's a natural mystic flowing on Mother Nature's bio rhythm. Get on beat. Connect with every single living organism, like ancestors before these evil ways of the system walking the less traveled road I and I have seen many visions, many nights, sitting still, yet still I listen. Guidance enters the vessel with pure precision, a choice to make daily. Why do we wrestle right decisions? Tussling with the test illusions, carrying us away from the way we already know what's best. Come back home, beloved, you no longer have to beat an eagle's chest. Perch inside like an eagle in its nest. Followers clip, dive into the next trend since a you always been. Taking heed to the riddles the elders were attesting. Now I'm years ahead with good investments. Just bump my head a little less than nonetheless, an imperfect perfection, a walk in prayer, avid meditator, realms of thought between each I'm a mediator, a metaphor of sorts, seeing obstacles as sport I must master Slow and steady wins the race. I learned that in the beginning chapters of a book without middle or end, life goes on again and again. I write on and on with my mind as my ink and my soul as my pen.

Donavan LeDean 25:49
Next man hotel

Rachel De Vera 25:51
in the absence of the sun, I dream of hope, but my eyes tell stories of a wounded heart. Throughout my trials and tribulations, I have sought a better way to understand myself, to wrap my mind around this life and make it mine. I am in search of serenity's Gender touch, but these karmic entanglements keep me chasing the darkness that lives within combat comes with the price tag, and I must give in to complete the mission. In the end, I win again, because nothing can hold me down. I am here with reason and purpose to encapsulate and translate the multi dimensional arrays of the human experience. The light will shine through me guide my way back home.

Donavan LeDean 26:50
Next man up,

Speaker 12 26:52
Helen, Joan, one at sea. Can I achieve hope all by myself when I'm far off, almost lost in causing waves, in crossing waves. Almost lost when I'm far off all by myself. Can I achieve

Donavan LeDean 27:22
hope? Oh, hello. Here we go. Here we go. Next man up.

Speaker 13 27:27
Perfection. Perfection is a lesson you learn at adolescence so that you can be singled out, rewarded and not rejected. Perfection is like a hectic erection that won't deflate because it's a shot to the ego while you want it to make you an enemy of the state. Perfection is an element without the eloquence yet the ingenuity to execute the excellence. Perfection is an assassin and a seat belt that won't fasten because it's out of fashion. And perfection is madness. Perfection is rawness. It knows no bliss. Yet it knows it's limitless, because perfection will destroy anything it touches, so it gives Jada a kiss. Perfection is consumption, living in the first and second function, shifting, furiously, serving the world, or rather saving the world from destruction. The path of perfection destroys any things it touches. Perfection is a weapon that loves the loveless. Perfection soars above all things because it's self serving. So if you learn one thing, you need to practice the balancing. Though it may feel like it's a strange thing. It makes you amazing, because perfection is self cheating and beatings and to the G's, it is the same thing which will turn the man into an outcast. I put some stank on that. Stank on it.

Donavan LeDean 29:05
Before we go, I would like to conclude with a power message. It's a message about self pacing. Slow it down. You're moving too fast without purpose or direction. You're hurting others who you claim to care about in the process, and soon you will hurt yourself. Stop breathe, look around you, the things and people that you fail to recognize can help you reroute to a far more significant path. Maintain human decency, treat others with human dignity, and pace your life for prosperity.

Donavan LeDean 29:42
Thrive.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai